Ugh! Another Birthday.

So old and ancient.

Alien.

Ash is a goddamn plaster cast head with medical catheters in his neck. It's true.

Martian Up Woman And Grow A Third Breast!

I don't think this insult is going to be very successful.

Damn You Puberty, It's All Your Fault.

"Man Up and Grow a Set of Balls" and "Grab yourself by the Balls". I hear these lovely lady like expressions used a lot on talk shows and in reality television series and it got me wondering...

Are there shops out there where you can go to order a new set of balls and they will grow them for you? What is the incubation time for a fully grown set of balls? Do they cocoon your old set of balls in chrysalis for 9-15 days before a bright new set of grown balls emerge? Do I have to wait for my Milk Balls to drop out before my Adult Man Balls grow in?

What's with this manning up thing too? Is it like Powering Up in a video game? Are there cheat codes for the Manning Up Maneuver?

As for gabbing yourself by the Balls... what kind of resistance is met when one part of your physical anatomy grabs another? Is there a state of motion involved; is inertia attained? What kind of velocities are involved here? It could be dangerous to do this. Is it like when Thor throws his hammer and holds onto it and he goes flying off with it?

We all know Women are full on "Woman Upping" all the time so there is no need to ask that question of the opposite sex because they're awesome, but are they capable of growing new sets of body parts too? Could they like, grow a third breast like that chick in Total Recall?

50th Anniversary of "I Have a Dream" Speech.

I also have a dream probably shared by many of you...a dream of a world where women are treated equally and with utter respect; a place where animals are not tortured in lab experiments and kept in torturous conditions for their milk and eggs or eventually killed for their flesh or fur. 

A planet where humans have become so evolved we've stamped out ageism, ableism, homophobia, elitism and of course racism.

An Earth where we nurture and tend to our enviroment, not destroy it and pretend there is an unlimited supply of gifts nature has to offer us.

A reality where people all have a roof over their heads and no one goes starving or hungry and free medical care is not frowned upon and is a basic human right.

A global setting where war and conflict is considered archaic and acceptance and fairness are part of the normal mind set.

A point in this blue dot's history in which governments do the right thing for their people with zero financial influence from the big corporations that make us all work harder and have less and less to show for it.

Like I said it's a dream; I will die knowing this fantasy for humanity will never come to fruition because greed and hatred have poisoned a vast majority of the movers and shakers in the international community.

To quote a young John Connor from the movie Terminator 2: Judgement Day..."We're not going to make it, are we?"

Nouveau Nerd  

Nouveau:  French - New.  
Nerd:  A person, typically described as being overly intellectual, obsessive, or socially impaired.

This is another word I felt compelled to come up with to describe the flood of new nerd and geek writers and podcast/television/radio personalities who consistently get their facts wrong. It's okay to make mistakes from time to time that's the qualities of being human and not Vulcan, but these people head influential websites and mainstream shows that somehow set themselves up to be some sort of figurehead and "expert" on all things geek and nerdy. They're writing or fronting news articles for the benefit of their own interest demographic; you'd think they'd fact check or at least do some homework before presenting their final drafts or presentations to the world. These people tend to acquire their status as the movers and shakers of these communities via good connections in the media industry or they wriggle their way into such a position via another discipline... they're either comedians, struggling actors or writers...a good example of this is someone like Chis Hardwick who constantly makes mistakes on his Nerdist television and podcast shows. I'm sure he does have a passion for Doctor Who, Star Wars and The Walking Dead, but time and time again he has proven insufficient knowledge on the most basic of topics on these subjects. Nouveau Nerds who are thrown into the limelight often lack the humility to admit to their limits. The socially impaired aspect of their psyche become the dominant leading force. They simply want to seem smarter and more informed than they really are to gain total credibility in the geek/nerd communities. 

There is a secondary Nouveau Nerd species that has emerged from all things geek and nerd becoming cool in the eyes of society; these are the people who rarely picked up a comic book, watched any science fiction/horror television shows or movies. They had a casual interest, but not an obsessive love for the stuff they read or watched. Since it's become cool to be a geek or a nerd these people have stepped out of the shadows utilising the abundance of information available to ride the popularity wave. They are nothing more than posers who joined the assembled hordes of geeks and nerds much later in their lives. A typical Secondary Nouveau Nerd is someone who thinks what is presented to them in programs such as the Big Bang Theory which tends to portray geeks and nerds as grossely caricatured and stereotypical characters as fact. 

Nu-vian

For several years I've been using a word I came up with in my vocabulary that describes a certain type of Doctor Who fan. It's something I combined from the modern leet speak variation of 'new' now 'nu' and the recognised and established word 'Whovian' which denotes a proper Doctor Who fan.

I decided Nu-vian describes best a specific type of fan of the popular sci-fi show Doctor Who. Since Doctor Who has become more and more popular in America over the past few years there have been a growing number of people tuning into the show who are only familiar with the series from 2005 onwards...series one of Nu-Who, not season 27 or 28 depending on if you count the Paul McGann TV movie a season.  They tend to be good hearted well intentioned folk, but lack a thorough insight into the full history of the longest running science fiction series in the world and the titular character. Their knowledge is cursory which is to be expected, but the most annoying aspect of Nu-vians is that they like their Doctors young and sexy due to an infatuation with the tenth Doctor pretty boy David Tennant. I guess time will tell if Nu-vians are a fickle lot; the recent casting of the 12th Doctor Peter Capaldi will test their true love of the show since he does not fit the young pretty boy mold and is more of a throwback to the classic more mature actor in the role.

Farewell Tony Your 'VISIONS' Will go 'ON'

Artist and children's presenter Tony Hart has died, aged 83.

Hart, who lived in Surrey, had suffered from health problems for a number of years, including two strokes. His family said he died peacefully.
The affable presenter inspired children to paint and draw on shows like Vision On, Take Hart and Hartbeat for nearly 50 years before he retired in 2001.
Fellow artist Rolf Harris led tributes, calling Hart "a very gentle and talented guy".
"He enthused and inspired a whole generation of kids into creating their own works of art, simple or complex."

Hart's agent, Roc Renals, said the presenter had died in the early hours of Sunday morning.
He said: "I was for many years his best friend, agent, manager and publicist. He suffered two strokes many years ago and his health declined since then."
"Thousands and thousands of young people who are now grown up will thank him for inspiring them to take up art," he added.
Wilf Lunn, Hart's friend who worked with him on Vision On for nine years, said he was a television pioneer.
"His legacy was the fact he really started all these children's programmes, Art Attack and all that, and he was the guy, right at the beginning.
"And he was the guy who had all these little tricks that teachers used to use because they make things look easy, and we got people into doing it. And he was such a nice man."
Morph

A lovely, gentle, skilful presenter, who allowed the art to be the centre of attention
vauqueliniere

The artist served as an officer in the 1st Gurkha Rifles in World War II, before joining a course at Maidstone College of Art.
Gurkha Welfare Trust director Colonel William Shuttlewood said Hart regularly donated pictures which were auctioned and raised "substantial" amounts of money.
He said: "I am sorry he has gone. He was a lovely chap and was very keen to make sure we were supported properly."
It was a chance meeting in 1952 with a BBC TV producer and a demonstration of his quick art skills on a paper napkin that secured his on-screen career.
Hart became resident artist on the Saturday Special programme that year.
Subsequent TV shows included Playbox, Titch and Quackers, Vision On, Take Hart, Hartbeat and Smart Hart.
From 1977 he appeared with animated clay character Morph, who lived in a pencil box. Morph was later joined by his cream-coloured colleague Chas.
Hartbeat often attracted 5.4 million viewers and Hart's mailbag varied between 6,000 and 8,000 per week.
Richard Deverell, BBC Children's Controller, said: "Tony was a warm man who had an unique ability to communicate with and inspire children.
"He was an inspirational man and a terrific broadcaster."
Hart received two Bafta awards, won a lifetime achievement award in 1998, and also created the original design for the Blue Peter badge.
In an interview last year he said not being able to draw after suffering two strokes was the "greatest cross I have to bear".
However, he added: "My aged heart is warmed by the lovely letters and e-mails I receive, especially when they tell me that my work on television inspired the writers to become artists, sometimes very successful ones."

Knocked For Six!

Rest In Peace Patrick McGoohan.

Emmy-winning actor Patrick McGoohan, best known for starring in cult 1960s TV show The Prisoner, has died at the age of 80. He died in Los Angeles after a short illness, his film producer son-in-law Cleve Landsberg told Associated Press. McGoohan played the character Six in the surreal 1960s show, filmed in the north Wales village of Portmeirion. He won two Emmy awards for his work on TV detective series Columbo, playing different characters. The first came for an episode of the series in 1974, with another 16 years later. 'I am a free man' The screen star also won a Bafta award for best television actor in 1959 for his role in The Greatest Man In The World, a one-off drama in ITV's Armchair Theatre series. In more recent years, McGoohan played King Edward Longshanks in the 1995 Mel Gibson film Braveheart. The actor also starred in ITV series Danger Man, which began in 1960The actor, who was born in New York and raised in England and Ireland, came to screen prominence in TV series Danger Man, in which he played a secret service agent. The programme later aired as Secret Agent in the US. He was later considered for the role of James Bond for the movie Dr No.

But McGoohan was chiefly associated with cult ITV drama The Prisoner, writing some of the episodes himself under a different name. His character spent the entire time attempting to escape from The Village and finding out the identity of his captor, the elusive Number One.
He repeatedly declared: "I am not a number - I am a free man!" In 2000, McGoohan reprised his most famous role in an episode of The Simpsons. 'Cult status' Residents of Portemeirion, which has its own The Prisoner shop selling memorabilia from the show, have paid tribute to the star. Councillor Dewi Lewis said: "It helped to put Portmeirion the village on the map during the 60s and we are still benefiting from that today." Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner - Courtesy Sony BMG"Mr McGoohan is held in high esteem in the area for the work he did - it still has a loyal following of people who come to Portmeirion annually." Robin Llywelyn, managing director of the Portmeirion village resort, added: "What he created out of The Prisoner is a lasting piece of TV at its best - it achieved cult status. It's something that we are very proud of." Last year, ITV confirmed that Passion of the Christ star Jim Caviezel would take the role of Number Six in a remake of The Prisoner, which will also star Sir Ian McKellen. "His [McGoohan's] creation of The Prisoner made an indelible mark on the sci-fi, fantasy and political thriller genres, creating one of the most iconic characters of all time," AMC, which is co-producing the remake, said in a statement. "AMC hopes to honour his legacy in our re-imagining of The Prisoner." McGoohan's last role came in 2002, as a voice artist in animated picture Treasure Planet.